The Reframe Is Dead

It feels good for a minute and changes nothing. Here's what actually creates transformation.

I was pinch hitting in a group coaching call this week. One of my soul sister’s communities, because that’s what we do for each other. We show up as the substitute teacher when it’s needed, no questions asked.

A powerhouse woman unmuted for hot seat coaching.

When she came out the other side, she said, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I thought you were just gonna tell me to reframe it, to just think about it differently. But instead, we went somewhere entirely new. I had no idea where you were taking me, and now I feel lighter, clearer, and I know what I need to do for myself.”

What did I do?

I had her start by closing her eyes. You cannot imagine the magic of what happens when you close your eyes, when you shut off your visual cortex, and what that does for your ability to connect to your body and go deeper within yourself. That’s where the truth is. And more often than not, it changes what the initial coaching question was in the first place.

We then used breath, silence, and stress processing.

There are way too many clients trying to find solutions in the same mind that created the perceived problem, and way too few coaches that feel confident working at the level of the body.

(Yes we have an epic certification, and yes I can train you in this and so much more.)

The reframe is dead. Enough already. I don’t love reframes and here’s why.

A reframe is asking you to choose a new thought while you’re still standing inside the exact box of consciousness that created the issue in the first place. Same frame. Same paradigm. It functions like an affirmation. It feels lovely in the moment, gives you a hit of relief, and then it’s gone, because it was never designed to help you embody something different. It was designed to help you feel differently for a minute.

So the next time you’re moving through something, which might even be right now, take a pause. Don’t go running and talking to people about it just yet.

Close your eyes. Remember your breath. Breathe in deeply, then exhale longer than you inhale. Go deeper inside yourself, and let the truth meet you there, instead of trying to overthink your way to a solution.

And if you’re reading this as a fellow coach, facilitator, or practitioner like me, I’m telling you now, you need to expand your coaching prowess. It’s not sufficient, and it’s not helpful, to keep working only at the level of the mind. You have to understand how sustainable transformation happens and where it actually takes place.

More love,
Tracy